Mayo Clinic Employee Experiences: Staff share pride, challenges, what it means to be a military parent

By In the Loop • November 11, 2020

Mayo Clinic is a unique place: the culture, the values, the people. "Mayo Clinic Employee Experiences" explores the experiences of Mayo Clinic staff as they navigate life personally and professionally. Sharing these experiences increases understanding of others and contributes to finding connections, belonging and inclusion at work.

In this episode of "Mayo Clinic Employee Experiences," you'll hear from Kristin Rosenbush, a nursing education specialist in Florida, and Marcia Edwards, a diversity recruitment specialist in Arizona, as they reflect on their experiences of having children in the armed forces.

Rosenbush's daughter is in the Critical Care program in the U.S. Army as a nurse, while Edwards has two sons in the U.S. armed forces. Rosenbush's daughter was deployed to New York City to help in the Javits Center, a convention center that was converted into a field hospital because of COVID-19. One of Edwards' son is in the Air Force and has been deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq.

Listen as they share their experiences:

NARRATOR: In this episode, Kris, a nursing education specialist, and Marcia, a diversity recruitment specialist, discuss the joy and stress of having children in the armed forces.

ROSENBUSH: Once a military mom, always a military mom. My daughter is in nursing and she's active-duty Army. She's going through their Critical Care program at Fort Sam Houston. One of the reasons she joined the Army was because she knew she could be active, but the classroom time has been a bit of a challenge for her. She is very much looking forward to finishing up and then getting out on the floor and being clinical again. She actually started with a Reserve Officers' Training Corps program and got a scholarship to go to The University of Iowa for the Nursing program. She was first stationed at Fort Hood in Killeen, Texas, so this is her second area. When she's done at Fort Sam, she'll be stationed at Walter Reed (National Military Medical Center) in Bethesda, Maryland.

EDWARDS: I have a son in the Air Force and one in the Army. The one in the Air Force has been in the Air Force for 20 years. He is an Air Force joint terminal attack controller. They do offensive air operations and work very closely with the Army. Of course, that wasn't what I was hoping he'd be doing when he said he was going to join the military. I said, "Couldn't you work in the kitchen and peel potatoes?" He said, "No, Mom." He is one of those that if he's going to do something, he's going to do it all the way. He's a tech sergeant and is stationed in North Carolina at Fort Bragg. I'm very proud of what he does. It's very dangerous. He's been deployed about six times. He's been deployed to both Afghanistan and Iraq, and usually gets deployed for about nine months to a year. As you can imagine, those times were not fun times for me.

ROSENBUSH: I don't really have any experience with that. I do know when Autumn told me she was going to join, she was 17 years old. She was a junior in high school. The recruiters come to the school and they talk the talk. The kids listen, and she was concerned about paying for college. This was a way she could do it if she could get this scholarship. I've worked with so many military men and women in my time at Mayo in my career in Nursing. They bring something special to health care, and I wanted that for her. I was excited for her and proud. I do have to say the anxiety and the apprehension as it got closer and closer — it certainly did build up. I was mostly scared about telling my mother that Autumn was going to join. She went to New York City for COVID-19. She was deployed there to open the Javits Center and then work as a nurse there for a couple of months. That was an eye-opening experience for her and a good one. It's good to see what's out there and what's happening in the world. You're always worried. We're not always able to talk to them. And I'm sure especially for you — knowing your son was being deployed overseas — that makes it even harder to communicate.

EDWARDS: It definitely was. When I would share the anxiety that I was feeling, not being able to hear from him, I heard from other individuals who have had family members during the Vietnam War. They reminded me of how much easier it is these days. You can get all sorts of ways to communicate much faster than back in those days. That gave me a much better perspective. It still didn't make it easy because I wanted to be able to pick up the phone and text or call him, but at least it didn't take months or almost a whole year to get a letter. The very first care package that I sent him — it was funny because it weighed almost 50 pounds. I wanted to send him everything — sheets and blankets. It was hilarious. I got to The UPS Store and the lady was asking me questions about the package. I broke down because this was my first care package for his deployment. I couldn't get a word out. She said, "Honey, I understand." She gave me a great deal because it would have cost hundreds of dollars to send this thing. She felt bad for me, and she supported the military. My colleagues here were very supportive. The minute that I would say I was putting together a care package, my office was filled with stuff not just for him, but for other members who were stationed there. I remember when I asked him what he needed, he sent me a picture of those little Glade plug-ins — the air fresheners. He said, "Mom, I am living in close quarters with other guys, and it stinks."

ROSENBUSH: I sent Autumn a care package, even though she was only gone for three months when she went to New York City. I mentioned it at work, as well, and got so much support. Everybody wanted to pitch in. Everybody wanted to send something. My box did not weigh 45 pounds, thankfully. But it was a bigger box than I was planning to originally send. I was trying to find bleach wipes and things to help her — anything that she could share among her colleagues. Like you, I had so much support from my work family. It's so nice, and it just really makes me feel good. You feel loved.

EDWARDS: Yes, especially because when you come into work, you put on the happy face because you're coming to work. It's really hard to do that when you are constantly thinking about what your son or daughter could be doing anywhere. They're away from the normal. I started thinking, "I'm sure there are other family members who are probably going through the same thing here at Mayo and they probably could use someone — a shoulder, an ear, someone to talk to." That's why I became so active with the Yellow Ribbon Mayo Employees Resource Group (MERG). I reached out and found that other employees had family members in the military and also were getting ready to be deployed. It's amazing once employees know that there are others out there going through the same thing, they want to come in and share it.

ROSENBUSH: It helps to put things into perspective. I've not been in the military myself, but I grew up in a military family and have lots of military background with my grandfathers and uncles, and my father and now my daughter. I think having some more of that firsthand experience helps me be more aware of what other people might be going through and be more sensitive to it. It's recognizing the signs and symptoms of somebody who might be struggling and what can I do to help them. It could be something simple such as watching a kid for a couple of hours so they can have a break because they're the only parent at home with this child or picking up some groceries — anything. It could be big things. It could be little things. The main thing is just to recognize it and let them know, "Can I help you?"

EDWARDS: That's exactly what we shared when we would meet as a MERG. It was OK to have anxiety or share with others what you need and have that sense of belonging. I'm very proud to have young men in the military. That sense of pride that I have is amazing. Whenever I see a young man or woman in a uniform, it's almost like I want to become their mom.

ROSENBUSH: I know. I do, too.

EDWARDS: I have treated them to pastries when I've been at a bakery.

ROSENBUSH: For anyone who's in the military, it pulls at your heartstrings a little bit. Any time I see some of the military, there's something that resonates with me that makes me feel connected to them in some manner.

EDWARDS: It's one of those things that, whatever you do for that individual, it comes back to you because someone else will be there for your son or daughter. My son said that to me when he was flying back from overseas at one time. There were a couple of people who gave up their first-class seat for him. I'm very proud of what he's chosen to do. I just hope that you know they're all safe and they're all someday able to be home.

ROSENBUSH: Yes, exactly. It's anywhere they go. They're our children — in the military or not in the military. They could be 10. They can be 30. They can be 50. They're always going to be our children no matter where they are or what they're doing. I'm always proud and always a little bit worried. One of the things that I find most challenging with my daughter being in the military is that I have to share her. I'm not very good at sharing. She's always been mine. We're pretty close. But like you, Marcia, I couldn't be any prouder of her. I'm proud of all my kids, but I'm just so proud of her and the woman she's become, and the nurse that she is. She's gaining the skills that she needs to be successful and to face challenges in life, not just in her military career but in her personal and professional life going forward.

NARRATOR: Take some time to consider ways you can thank and support our military servicemen and women and their families.

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